Farewell for now

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So i'm going away for a few months. I bet you all think i'm going somewhere really exciting, or going on holiday or something. But infact, i'm not. I'm going into hospital for a few months.
I have Anorexia Nervosa, and i'm being admitted into an Eating Disorder inpatient unit to try and recover as my weight is quite low. Personally, i think i'm fine, but the professionals disagree. I was a bit hesitant as to whether or not to post this post, but i always said i'd be honest with my readers, and maybe it's about time i started being more honest with myself too.

Where it all started. I've suffered from an eating disorder whether it be more Anorexia or Bulimia since i was of the age of 7. I used to make myself throw up when i was in Primary School, and be sick all the time and i never thought anything of making myself throw up but still kept it secret and my parents never thought anything of me being sick, Then when i started Secondary School, i started getting bullied really severely and that just totally sent it out of control. I was nearly admitted to an inpatient unit at the age of 16, but i then started gaining weight as i was binging and purging so they didn't admit me, despite the fact i was still struggling with an eating disorder, but my weight had stabilized.

As for now, my weight has been on a downward spiral for a while, and the Anorexic thoughts have kind of taken over my life. It's totally consumed me and they don't really know how to treat me as an outpatient anymore as i just just can't really seem to get any better, so that's why i'm being admitted as an inpatient. I've never really been in recovery, i've continued to struggle since i was 7, so they think that i'll never fully recover, but hopefully i can learn to live with it and lead a normal life while putting the thoughts to the back of my head.

To try and keep my blog going i've asked a variety of people to guest post, and i've done lots of OOTD posts which i've scheduled to post while i'm in hospital. As for whether i'll be allowed to have my computer to check up on my blog i don't know, but fingers crossed i'll be able to do a blog post while i'm in there. I'd like to do a post about what it's like in an eating disorder unit, so fingers crossed, they'll let me take photos too.

But yeah, so that's why i'm going away, so farewell for now.

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cjm

28 comments

  1. Oh my gosh! Wishing you all the best with your recovery Courtney! (: xx

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  2. Wishing you all the best for your recovery! x

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  3. Anorexia is an awful illness, good luck with your stay. What a brave post!

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  4. Sending my love and best wishes! It must of been a hard post to share, so very brave x

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  5. You are so brave to write this, I wish you all the best in your recovery!! xx

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  6. You're brave for writing this post and opening up a little, it must be difficult for you. Bullies are cruel can don't realise how much they can affect someone. Those thoughts can still effect you I find and aren't easy to shake off. You're a better person though so just focus on yourself on your recovery.

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  7. What a brave post to write! Good luck with everything and wishing you the best :) xx

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  8. Good luck and all the best!
    Hoping you'll be healthy and back to blogging soon :)

    Laura xox

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  9. Wishing you all the best, Courtney! After meeting you at the Hertsbedsmeet in July I've thought that you're absolutely lovely, and you're definitely going to be in my thoughts over the next few months. Try to stay strong xx

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  10. It's really brave of you to talk about this. Wishing you all the best for the best few months.

    Rosie x

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  11. Best wishes to you and your recovery. We aren't going anywhere. =)

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  12. Your life will get better, maybe this means you'll be on the road to recovery now honey. Look forward to your return, xoxo.

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  13. I love you girly, you CAN do this I know you can <3 best of luck and I'll be thinking about you! It's time to regain your life back from this illness! Go kick butt ;) xxxxx

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  14. Good luck sweetheart,
    you have my e-mail address...you can use it any time if you have internet access xo

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  15. So brave to post this, just wish you all the best and a full recovery

    x

    http://fashionistadigital.blogspot.co.uk

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  16. You are an extremely brave lady, I have so much respect for you! All the best,
    Beth
    (dreamcatcher-beauty)
    x

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  17. Wishing you all the best courtney - you can do it =) xo

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  18. Wishing you all the best for your recovery - such a brave post to write xx

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  19. Good luck with your recovery, sending lots and lots of love and best wishes your way!

    xox

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  20. I will be thinking of you hun, good luck with it all.

    Hugs x x

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  21. So brave to write this, i wish you the best of luck and hope you have a speedy recovery and get well really soon! Thinking of you! Xx

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  22. Aw honey, I hope you'll be okay. My old best friend had anorexia and was admitted into a hospital, it was the best thing that could ever happen to her. Before she didn't realise she was poorly, but she walked out a completely different woman. I wish you all the best with your recovery, you're an incredibly pretty and bright girl :)

    xxx
    www.forevermissvanity.com

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  23. Wish you all the best! and a very speedy recovery, think your so brave for writing this. Sending lots of positive thoughts + super love!!

    xxxxx

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  24. Wishing you all the best hun xx

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  25. Courtney-
    I'm sure it was a difficult decision but one made for the best. Good luck--our thoughts and prayers are with you. All the best and looking forward to your return!
    XXX
    Karly

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  26. What a brave post, well done for having the courage to post it. The first step in the right direction. Best of luck Courtney xo

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Thank you for commenting! :)

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